Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
