you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
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I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
