I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Your dad touched me again.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Randomize
