Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
