Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
