Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
