I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
