Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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