You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I faked an abortion last night.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Randomize
