I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
