So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize