whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
