I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
