Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
