OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I smell like Dick and happiness
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
