I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
