Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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