So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
whose ass print is on the piano?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
