I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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