He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
