That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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