dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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