there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
