Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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