week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize