That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize