I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
