I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
