Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
