dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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