Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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