Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
