Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
She announced her abortion via fbk
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
