I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
