D3 body, D1 cock
Screwed.edu
I can text with my tongue
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
