She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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