i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
