Pappa wants mamma naked
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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