The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
