Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
