i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
