I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize