You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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