ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
