The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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