Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
i need some magic done to my vagina
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I think people are normalizing furries
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
