it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
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