This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
