I cockslap morals
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
