i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
