actually, I'm a sock model
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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