I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
