too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
