The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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