walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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