we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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