I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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