I feel like I'm in dance class right now
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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