I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
