I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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